Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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