Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
