Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
