YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
