would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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