Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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