We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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