the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize