I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
