Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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