There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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