tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
bring money and cleavage
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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