i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
