i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
