so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
