The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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