I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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