I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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