We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
