I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
