I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
