Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
