help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
