I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
