none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
