Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
