Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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