Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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