they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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