i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
