True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
