trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
