Do you still have your period?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
