I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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