Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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