so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
