I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
