dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My pussy is not your playground.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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