her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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