Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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