I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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