now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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