I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How external is "for external use only"?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
