And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
