Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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