return my video game
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
