Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
