He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
