i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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