dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
