she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
