I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
