is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
