lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
