Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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