But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
