90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
