Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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