My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
